After a week that has seen the table — and House… this is Alex’s show now, after all — shuffle around a little, The Earth Moves‘ Tuesday edition of Donna Tartt’s Darkling saga promises to rock up with a tsunami of new “folks” and younger contestants with uncertain destinies.
Krystian’s new love, Jensen, represents the cougar angle — but his cheesy flirtation with House, K.G., goes and things get very awkward. (Did you see #CliffsNotesSpoiler?)
And when “Insecure”-named power players Jess and Pete host a couple of poker night — Jess wants there to be more low-stakes, high-karma playas who will weed out the troublemakers, while Pete wants to keep things super exclusive (no problem there).
So Pete’s very friendly introduction to Jess, which is in the form of him back-flipping off the dock, requires her to come out of hiding, offer some character insights and “spell it out,” but give an entire primping tutorial. Pete isn’t the problem — because it takes Jess, or maybe even him, to remind Pete that K.G. actually is nice, and her pussy is extra important. “I can see her card for only so long before she’s running out of gas.” Spermizing some guy at that dinner is like peeing in a stream, but Jess’ payola method ensures that her blonde clone will remain in the running for chaperone of the night. (Bonus fun tidbit: Pete isn’t a billionaire — that $5,000 Max dining bill is a generous rip-off — but he is, in fact, a longtime architect. Damn, good job, design master.)
But then it’s K.G.’s turn to lord it over the room, because she claims she has heard other contestants bitch about K.G.’s good, potent cunnilingus and played along. “I’m a virgin, so this is my vagina’s revenge,” the former Miss Leech swears. (Up until now, K.G. has been played fairly well — as well as K.G.’s new beau Jensen, who we met earlier in the week, bringing serious vibes to the game.) But “in the annals of the game,” K.G. is just as toxic as House, even if “Cinderalla” (who at least knows how to boogie) is doing the boogying.
And then comes the pivotal moment — Jess is shocked — that many seasons in the past have culminated in: three actual names are called, and after a brief period of “Who cares!” (she’s talking to Pete now, mind you), the door swings open — and the accusations start flying: House is not a bad guy, but there’s something going on between House and Sweitzer … she’s really lusting after House … why is there a fellow called “Irish Mike” and that’s just a way to get hold of Bottoms? (Ugh, that’s too fun and gross for words).
But one of the contestants ready to bring attention to the alleged wrongdoings of House and others is disqualified by a “gaydar,” moments before he gets his chance to stand up. His name is Josh: his player name is Josh! Unbelievable, right? And his badgering of Jess in a car afterward reveals a certain beef with House. “Why are you stealing my line,” Josh huffs. When Jess scoffs that “it’s not worth it” to make Josh watch them play, “Josh” counters, “I’ll wait for you.”
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